January 9, 2009
Like tens of millions of Americans, I settled in last night for the much anticipated OU/ Florida game. Naturally, the final score of the game was disappointing. Even worse was the unprofessional presentation put on by Fox TV. The network only covers five (that’s right, five) college games a season and it showed its lack of experience. Announcers Thom Brennaman and Charles Davis couldn’t properly announce a pee-wee football game, little less the BCS football championship.
These two clowns with a microphone consistently mis-identified players, passed out platitudes for Tim (hey, everybody look at me) Tebow like lollypops. And at one point, they demonstrated they couldn’t even count to four when the Sooners were on the Gator doorstep and both announcers got “corn-fused” warning that it was third down when oops, it was only 2nd, and fourth down when it was really only 3rd. Maybe they thought it was the Colorado Buffalo game of a few years ago when the Buffs got five downs instead of just four.
Speaking of Tebow, he is certainly a good college football player and a tough, physical kid. He also struck me as a self-centered, immature jerk who somehow operates under the delusion that what he does on the football field is right up there with curing cancer. It’s not. He’s a college athlete (entertainer) and like his over-paid cousins in the NBA, NFL or MLB, he operates under the misconception that being good at shooting a basketball, hitting a baseball or passing a football is something really special and critical to the American way of life. It’s not. Notice I left out hockey - I don’t know of a “T-O” ego-maniac in hockey, little less a criminal like Koby Bryant, out there on the frozen pond. Hockey players maybe flamboyant, but they are also tough guys who “earn” every penny they’re paid .
At one point, Brennaman opined: “If you’re fortunate to spend five or even 20 minutes around Tim Tebow, your life is better for it.” No, sorry pal but it’s not. If you’re gonna blow five to twenty minutes, take a good dump. You’ll really feel better afterwards and I suspect your life will in fact, be better.
My last comment deals with a subject I know a little about: advertising. Corporate idiots that somehow think running some lame, sophomoric commercial over and over and over during a game are basically telling viewers, “Hey, our creative stinks so bad, that you won’t get the message the first time you see it. Therefore, we’re gonna run them “ads-nauseam until every consumer in America hates our guts.” They succeeded.
Most pathetic, were the Chevrolet spots that threw dirt at their competitors. Here’s a novel idea for GM - why not spend your thirty seconds giving viewers a solid reason to buy your crummy product. It’s no wonder that taxpayers are having to bail out GM. The commercials undoubtedly reflect their management. I found them to be stupid, insulting and boorish - which cleverly takes us full circle back to the announcers.
One last shot . . . by my watch, there was about one full glorious hour’s worth of commercials for all of us to suffer through during the game. Sorry Fox, that’s obnoxious, tedious and too much to ask of me. I enjoy watching games, but from now on, I’ll record for later playback and fast forward through the Slasher movie promos, the Fed Ex spots with 90 year old Dick Buckus, and whatever the hell the ads were selling with the dumb-looking idiots staring blankly into space as the stood on the potato chip aisle of the grocery store .
The game was a loser on so many levels. Mercifully, it’s hockey season.
Entry Filed under: humor. .